Renowned Artist Promotes Sock Monkey Theory!!

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Do you not trust sock monkeys? Have you ever lost socks in the drier? Then this theory might be just your speed!!

On Thursday, July 13th, during a Twitch channel livestream from TommyCastilloAtelier, renowned artist, Primo Cardinalli, proposed a theory on sock monkeys. During a discussion with artist Sammy Castillo, who was in front of the camera working on a memorial tribute piece for her recently deceased husband, Tommy Castillo, Primo put forth a theory about sock monkeys that the world needs to hear before it is too late!!

According to Primo, an accomplished and published artist of horror genre art, sock monkeys are planning world domination. I'm sure everyone would agree with Primo that sock monkeys are, by nature, castrated males who have no natural means of reproduction. Primo promotes the theory that sock monkeys procreate by stealing socks from unsuspecting humans via a wormhole that is in every drier across the globe. This wormhole leads to another dimension where fully formed sock monkeys take the newly acquired fetuses and nurse then into fully fledged sock monkeys.

Occasionally, a mature sock monkey crosses over through that same wormhole and finds itself forever moving from shelf to shelf and bed to bed. These sock monkeys are forward scouts. They eventually find their way back into a drier where they escape through the wormhole, report their findings to their fellow sock monkeys, and return in time to continue their deep cover reconnaissance mission.

The overall objective is to build up an army of sock monkeys. This army will eventually be unleashed into the world through the drier wormholes located world wide all at the same time. They will be everywhere and will control everything through sheer force of numbers!!

So what can we do to stop this evil plot??!! All this author can think of is to wear socks until they are threadbare and then throw them away!! If we all do the same, we can stop this plot before it gains ground!! I'm calling on all humans to join with me by NOT washing their socks in the first place!!

Your cooperation is appreciated! - Jesse Olson

PS - you may not want to smell my feet if we should ever meet.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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