Dr. Bob's Top Ten Signs You Have Food Intolerance

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More than 5,000 diseases have been linked to food, the nutritious substance that most people eat in order to maintain life. A new study estimates that 99 of the US population suffers from food intolerance, but sadly, most are never diagnosed.

It is also estimated that up to 57 of the US population is more likely to look to Internet posts rather than medical professionals for medical advice.

If you have any of the following symptoms it could be a sign that you have food intolerance. Could you be one of them? See below for the TOP TEN SIGNS.

1. Digestive issues such as defecation, bloating, diarrhea, relentless flatulence, and even constipation. I see the flatulence particularly in males after consuming food.

2. Movement in your joints such as fingers, knees or hips.

3. Mood issues such as anxiety, depression, tranquility, fear, sadness, anger, joy, and ADD.

4. Keratosis Polaris (also known as ‘chicken skin’ flopping around on the back of your neck or in your perineal gap). This tends to be as a result of food that contains animal or vegetable fat.

5. Fatigue, brain fog, satiation, or feeling tired after eating a meal that contains food.

6. Diagnosis of an autoimmune disease such as Celiac Disease, Credulousness, Rheumatoid arthritis, Stupefaction, Luddism, Psoriasis, Multiple sclerosis, or Monkey Knuckles.

7. Neurologic symptoms such as dizziness, excitation, drowsiness, fatigue, feeling of well being, or feeling of being off balance.

8. Monthly hormonal changes.

9. Aches or pains, particularly in areas of the head, hair, aura, upper body, or lower body.

10. Diagnosis of chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, candida, gluten sensitivity, or the blues. These diagnoses simply indicate your conventional doctor can't find the cause of your vague discomfort due to his or her lack of naturo-hysterical training.

How to test for food intolerance?

I have found the single best way to determine if you have an issue with food is to do an "elimination diet" and take it out of your diet for at least 1 to 2 weeks and then reintroduce it. Please note that food tends to store itself on your body in various places like the wheat belly area or your fat ass, and it can take several weeks and even months to clear from your system so the longer you can eliminate food from your diet before reintroducing it, the better.

The best advice that I share with my patients is that if they feel significantly better when they are off of food, or feel worse when they reintroduce it, then food is likely a problem for them. In order to get accurate results from this testing method you must eliminate 100 of the food from your diet.

How to treat food intolerance?

Eliminating food 100 from your diet means 100. 100 shall be the number, and the number shall be 100. 110 shall not be the number, and the number shall not be 90, excepting that thou then proceed to 100. 200 is right out!

Still unsure?

Seek out an integrative practitioner, homeopathic doctor, tarot card reader, chiropractor, astrologist, tea leaf reader, or acupuncturist, to help to guide you, or check out my new book, “Guide to Food Free Living and Dying” - $39.95.

Dr. Bob Akimbo, BS, NBCA, LLC

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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