Michigan football team expected to forfeit 2017 Game with The Ohio State Buckeyes
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Even though teams have not yet reported to summer practices, Head Coach Jim Harbaugh is expected to announced at the 46th Annual Big Ten Football Kickoff Luncheon this week that his team will not host Ohio State in the perennial November match-up. When asked why, he responded, "We haven't beat them in so many years, many of our players didn't realize it was even possible. We are instead going to focus all our efforts this season on teams we can beat like Indiana, Rutgers and Air Force."
"The Wolverines are hosting the Cincinnati Bearcats this season, and the prospect of two teams from Ohio coming into the Big House and leaving the Wolverines doubly defeated has had a negative psychological impact on the players", he mused. "Furthermore", he stated, "We wanted to create a better atmosphere for the team, and instead of playing a game on November 25th, we will be preparing to watch Ohio State and some other team play in the Big Ten Championship Game the following week."
"Our players usually feel all bloated and lackadaisical so soon after eating all that organically grown Turkey only two days before the big game, and it causes indigestion. Our Quarterbacks complain about lining up so close behind a 300 pound Center with such gastrointestinal challenges. I just thought it was better to save the team the embarrassment when the outcome of these games has become a forgone conclusion. It's all about creating a more positive atmosphere at Michigan. Lately we have really stuck up the place in our own football stadium."
In further news, due to the team not being able to field enough quarterbacks for practice, he will be keeping his starters in a designated safe room outfitted with the latest Madden 3D XBOX video games to keep their skills honed . As the image shows, he believes he has found a solution to the team's practice Quarterback woes.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.