Radical Left-Wing Socialists Invade Eastern U.S. from the West
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One or two adults at a time, with or without poster-perfect children in tow, radicals bent on overthrowing the current U.S. government and installing a neo-socialist regime in its place have been moving in small groups to the mid-Atlantic region from western cities, including Seattle, Portland, and the Bay Area.
The slow exodus began between late 2015 and early 2016, when masses of disenfranchised Democrats, many of whom reportedly "felt the Bern," were unsettled by what they considered the fixing of the 2016 Democratic Primary. Remaining allegiant to their wiry-haired hero, the most radical of the dejected constituency vowed to bring change to Washington, DC, even if the price of victory would include the blood of revolutionaries.
This reporter met with one of the group's leaders, who identified himself as Berkeley Merck.
"Crony capitalism and the free market have ruined our country" said Merck, as he sipped a fat-free organic iced soy latte on the balcony of a high-rise beachfront condo where we met.
"The Constitution is obsolete. The system is broken. It's time that employers stop getting rich so that everyone else can share their companies' profits. It's time to TAKE THE POWER BACK!"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.