Walmart closing Roanoke Rapids NC location and move to Darlington NC

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The Roanoke Rapids Walmart will be packing up shop and moving according to the P.R. of the major distribution chain. Martin Fuller, the stock holder CEO says that the store needs to leave because more illegal narcotics and sex are being sold than the stores products. "We just want to live in peace. They don't even sell good weed or pretty girls. Darlington will be better." Say Fuller.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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