Trump to use Funds Saved by Closing EPA to add 5th Bust to Mt. Rushmore
Monday 01 June 6668 Shares
Mar-a-Lago, Palm Beach, Florida: In a move that surprised even his most ardent supporters, Donald Trump announced today that the money saved by reducing or eliminating the funding to several government agencies, including the EPA, Department of Education, Department of the Interior, and many other smaller agencies, would instead be used to add a fifth bust to the existing four at Mt Rushmore.
In his announcement he proclaimed, “I think I would look pretty good on that mountain. I can’t think of a single person more worthier than me of such a honor.” When questioned by a reporter about what the justification was for his being included on the mountain, he replied, “I have got so much accomplished since my coronation. I’m the president. I’ve presidented enough to be the best there ever will be. Who else do you think would deserve such a honor? Get him outta here.”
When asked if the congress would approve his use of the funds for this he said, “That spineless bunch of losers will do whatever I tell them to do. So yeah, they’ll cave.”
While he is actively seeking sculptors willing to undertake such a challenge, he is having a problem finding anyone willing to accept such a challenge due to his history of failing to pay his contractors.