Hampton man found guilty of trying to steal his wife's cookies
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Bernard Sumpter, 49, was found trying to slip the panties off of his wife while she slept peaceful. She took a Dollar Tree sleeping aid and fell asleep. She woke up to warm hands and hot breath on the back of her neck. When she asked him what he was doing, he said he just loved her some much that he had to do it. He was taken into custody by Officer Cookie Monster for attempted theft of cookies from his wife's cookie jar. His wife is in protective custody at the time of this report.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.