Chalmette man wanted for armed robbery
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Local man Jason juneau, 28, is wanted for armed robbery...
Local authorities are advising women to lock up their lingerie and other kinkier items...
A witness stated that Mr Juneau had been seen around the local Walmart oct. 26th carrying a victorias secret bag full of new lingerie and what appeared to be a Mr binkeys bag full of mystery items to his car.
Later that night Juneau apparently entered a local dominos with a set of handcuffs and a large pink dildo, demanding all ladies hand over their bras and then proceeded to handcuff one unknown lady to a second dildo he had hidden in his back pocket, and forced her to make him a pizza, before taking her with him to an unknown location.
Authorities are asking for any and all information that will lead to the whereabouts of Mr Juneau and his hostage.
They ask that if you do see him, Do NOT approach him, he is armed with dildos and loves to put them to use.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.