Arrested for hiding in the closet
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Today it emerged that police had swooped on an address in Mildenhall, Keith Lovell was arrested in the early hours of the morning, found hiding in his closet with 4 unknown gentlemen, Keith had allegedly tried to assault two police officers during the arrest, but his wimpy slaps caused no serious harm, when the officers had handcuffed Keith he was heard saying "that uniform makes you look so manly, fancy a cheeky Nando's when I get out"
keith was seen wearing a black pvc top and what looked like a black leather mini skirt, he was found with approximately 5 viagra pills and 3 gallons of Ann summers KY jelly.
Keith had claimed they were in the closet putting up Halloween decorations however on further inspection, no such items were found.
Sentencing is expected to take place new week, local law firms have suggested he is looking at a long term behind bars, when Keith heard the news he was hears asking not for extra soap bars.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.