Local whore learns lesson
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Minneapolis, MN - Authorities responded to a call early Thursday morning from a man claiming to be held hostage in his Northeast Minneapolis residence. When police arrived, they found Andrew Lauth, a 24-year-old male, tied up with leather fabric (later identified as women's lingerie) to what appeared to be a DIY Ikea swing I'm his lingerie. The man appeared to be heavily intoxicated and repeatedly mumbled to first responders, "Lester... the Molester..." The man was rushed to urgent care, where it was determined that his only injuries included a bloody nose (unrelated to the incident) and mental scarring.
"I was vibing with this chick on Tinder, and she asked me if I wanted to do some kinky shit," Lauth later explained to detectives. The young woman claiming to be "Dominique" later turned out to be Lauth's ex-girlfriend, Stephanie Lester, 26, posing as someone else on the popular dating app. Police arrested Lester later that day and admitted her into a mental health hospital.
"That bitch is crazy," the final report concluded.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.