Washed up Derby Icon hangs up his helmet

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The Man, the myth, the legend 'Mad Mike' Difrischia (2R) has finally realized his days of kicking ass on the derby track are over and is selling out so he can rest his weary bones and get fat on his newly aqquired property at a secret location in western Pennsylvania. At one time he was an icon but now he's just washed up. He is a legendary builder but even those days are about over . Friends of Mike are quoted as saying 'if he eats one more Little Debbie he won't be able to get his fat ass under a car just like he can't get in one now." Everyone is asked to message Mike and try to talk him into staying in the sport but it's hard to do because unless you bribe him in with some food don't expect a return call. Even the Legendary Rich 'the Old Man' Cipra (505) throwing his annual cookout at a local derby couldn't convince Mike to change his mind.
Tho, the good news is his stepson Xavier 'The Future' (T8) and son Ronnie 'Cremepuff' (2Rjr) didn't sit around not paying attention. These boys have went from students to proven drivers and are the reason the Mad Mike has realized his days are over because he can't even hang with them on the track.
Thank you for the memories Mad Mike!

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.