Local Man Still At Large! Authorities Say: Stealing Car Motors And Sticking His Dick Inside Them: Using Motor Oils As Lubricant!

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Around yesterday morning at about 4am, neighbors is the 1200 block of Dartmouth ave, called 911 authorities with a suspicious reports of a recently shaved, non beared man, lingering around random vehicles in the neighborhood. Authorities have reported that as many as 6 vehicles have been broken into, engines taken, and no sign of motor oils. Suspect is still at large. Last seen at Kalamazoo's local gay bar wearing a pink hat, tube top and black yoga pants. Please report any sightings to your local authorities. Suspect is reported to be heavenly armed and very dangerous.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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