Police issue theft warning

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All points bulletin has been issued for Patricia Lightfoot for theft of cheesecake from other people's plates. She was last seen at Golden Corral taking cheesecake from plates of other patrons, this was reported after she accosted the Bourbon Chicken and the Blue Cheese crumble. Please watch your plates if you see har and do not attempt to take her tea away by any means.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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