Man faces five years of solitude.
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A 43 year old local married man is facing into his fifth consecutive year of not been allowed out. Since the "happiest day of his life" Jason Burke has rarely been seen by his "friends" and some actually think he has moved abroad or has fallen asleep in the "jacks" and locked himself in (again).
On the rare occasion a post has been reported to be seen on Facebook but that has been dismissed by the majority of his friends.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.