'Garden Hopping' pest must be stopped

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Zak Pearson, 17, from Southend has been spotted multiple times hopping into gardens around bournes green area, Southend-On-Sea. Keep all doors and windows locked at night, close blinds and draw curtains. He has been seen publicly masterbating in bushes while spying on people from their own gardens. We have found out he is illergic to cucumbers, to repel the youth blend up 3 cucumbers into a liquid and squirt them from a water gun, failing this restrain him and push a cucumber into the youths rectum. If you see the youth contact Essex Police immediately. Stay safe.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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