Wanted
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Jonathan Staton of pilgrim Kentucky is wanted for the theift in relation to Warfield rite-aid. This man currently has a warrant out for his arrest due to speeding off with stolen goods such as lipstick, a bag of chips, and a box of tampons. Anyone who has knowledge of his whereabouts is to report him immediately to local authorities.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.