Local kincker snatcher
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Neil simpson of anderson glasgow has been caught stealing the earldy community kickers to then take behind any wall or bush to ejaculate within them and place them back one eye witness said " I was absolutely terrafied i tried to phone my son john whos in south Africa with his family I was immediately rushed to hosptal after suffering a stoke after witnessing such a horrific crime"
Local ploice costable sean batty said "appearing for eye whitness to then come fowared and bring this sex offenced justice if you see this man please stay well away and contact 101"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.