River residents report sounds of screaming baby after dark. Police investigate.
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On a August night this year, residents of s small riverside town were startled by blood curdling screams. Initial reports described the noise as the mating call of a Squatch or possibly a 3 year old being slowly fed into a wood chipper. Fish and game was dispatched to investigate the disturbance. Officials uncovered an unusual site. What first appeared to be a young woman screaming "somebody call the police" ended up being a young boy sitting in an inflatable boat. The young man was pissing his pants and weeping uncontrollably due to catfish swimming into his feet. Fish and game officials placed a pink dress on the subject and allowed him to continue his float.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.