Young man accused of carrying an RPG around Eccles town area
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Mateusz Ulanowski aged 19, known as "Mini" had been seen carrying a deadly weapon around Eccles shopping centre around 5pm yesterday. He had been caught by five CCTV camera operating around the area. There is a suspision that Mr Ulanowski had been planning to blow up his old fellow friend's testicles. Witnesses aged 18-20 have stated that he wore a Tapout hoodie and grey joggers and pink crocs. We believe that the young man is a high risk danger to our society and anybody who has seen him is asked to phone 911, nice one.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.