Local Man Ejaculates After Liverpool Score Goal
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A local man living in Lucan known as Mark "The Nonce" Harrington has caused outrage amongst the community following a sexual outburst in a shop.
Harrington, aged 19, let off a massive sexual roar as Roberto Firmino scored a scrumptious dinked goal against Crystal Palace last week. He had, to the shock of many customers, spunked on himself.
A local witness said: "It was horrifying. He was serving me at the till and heard about the goal. The rest is history. I don't want to talk about what I saw."
It is believed that the goalkeeper is now on the run somewhere in Lucan. Beware of this vile fiend.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.