Ohio man wins Old English 800 contest
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A Cincinnati Ohio resident, Mark Mattison, was selected as winner of the Old English 800 Chug-A-40 contest. In a field of 800 contestants, most of them from Detroit, Mr. Mattison was able to use his back in the days skills of downin a 40 ouncer. Contestants were to down as many 40's of OE as possible within an hour without throwing up, pissing their pants, or falling into a coma. Mr. Mattison was easily able to defeat the competition and down 12 Old English 800 40 ouncers with the 1 hour deadline. No cash prize was offered, but the winner did receive 2 40's of OE for the ride home. Mr. Mattison was unable to stand and could barely speak, but contest officials reportedly said he stated; "It ain't no work that sucka to death, its twerk quack ducker to seth!"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.