Wanted by RCMP
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The RCMP are asking for any information as to the whereabouts of Lizzy Ettinger. She was sighted last on the outskirts of Saskatoon sexually violating a cow with a farmer sausage. RCMP are asking the public to notify them or Crime Stoppers if they have any information.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.