Melania Trump To Make School Lunches Great Again By Making PORK A Requirement!
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Today, in an interview with spokesman for the White House, Jar Jar Binks, it was revealed that First Lady Melania Trump wants to make her own changes to the school lunch program, by making pork one of the food groups required in every child's lunch. Mr. Binks said, "We're going to have a variety. A lot of people are worried that it's all going to be bacon. It's not just going to be bacon in kids' school lunches. There will be ham sandwiches, pork balogna, pork sausage, pork hot dogs, pizza with pork pepperonis, Jello, and marshmallows. We want to switch it up." Reporter Tricia Takanawa asked Mr. Binks what the goal was behind the move towards pork lunches. Mr. Binks answered, "We want to teach all kids to tolerate, and even love pork. By teaching every kid to like pork at an early age, we're teaching them good citizenship, and to fight radicalism. We'll be making a list of every parent that complains, or requests a different lunch for their child, and we'll be putting kids on that list that refuse any of the pork products for any reason. Such students will not only fail Lunch as a graded class, but they will be questioned and monitored for illegal or suspicious activity. Right now, we're in the process of developing a pork re-education school that will focus on citizenship and pork tolerance for students that are reluctant to comply."
Ms. Takanawa asked Mr. Binks what was behind First Lady Melania Trump's new vision for school lunches. Mr. Binks said, "The First Lady knows first hand what it's like to have to learn how to fit in in American culture, and she wants to see every child succeed at fitting in, and she feel that the best way to do that is with pig meat." The First Lady could not be reached directly for comment.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.