Trump "Seriously Considering" Legalization of Coffee
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Washington D.C: February 23
by Akesha Forbot, Reuters correspondent
According to several White House sources, President Donald Trump is likely next week to direct the office of the Attorney General to cooperate with the Food and Drug Administration to develop a plan to "legalize" coffee on the federal level starting as soon as 2018.
The sources quote Trump as envisioning "Zillions" of dollars of new tax revenue from the scheme. Workers would be able to apply to their employers or assigned physician for a "scrip" stating that they must have coffee else their work productivity could be eroded. Others such as the unemployed would still be able to purchase small amounts of coffee albeit at a higher "recreational" price.
In related news, a patent application was filed this week by Reactiv Industries for a roadside "java tester" for use by police in roadside testing.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.