Kook devouring shark dies from overeating in rockaway .

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Thursday 07 July 2059 18589 Shares

On Tuesday morning approximately around 6:30 am , the bloated carcus of a great white shark was found washed ashore on beach 92nd street.
It appears that the shark was no longer able to submerge due to the buoyancy of the contents of his stomach .
shredded soft top surfboards .
the locals had become so familiar with seeing him cruising the lineup ,
that he earned himself a name " the regulator "

It is not often that a shark develops such fame as the great white that was tagged and monitored off the New York coastline early last year .
But this particular shark's eating habits made it stand apart from the multitudes usually found in deeper waters.
In the overcrowded lineup found between 90 & 91st street in the rockaways ,
The great white was often spotted patrolling the surf zone searching for easy prey .
Professor john E. Bones ,
marine biologist employed at Coney Island aquarium has been cataloging incedent reports and following him closely.
Professor Bones is credited as the first to notice the unusual behavior this shark was exhibiting.
" almost every attack reported involved the shark singling out and attacking surfers riding softtop boards."
John's still unclear what the significance of these findings mean .
Or if it was merely coincidence.
" perhaps the shark has learned to associate foam top boards with weak paddling skills or perhaps the scent offgassing from the materials used in the manufacturing process of soft tops acts as an atractent "
Strangely enough ,
despite bodyboards being made out of similar material ,
the great white has largely ignored them in the lineup .
( Much like most other surfers do.)
John is working out theory on this .
Professor Bones claims
"As of yet , there were no reports of attacks on Standup paddleboarders either.
This may be for one or two reasons .
Maybe the attacks were going unreported due to the fact that nobody would miss either type of wave rider very much in the lineup .
(including there own mothers )
Or perhaps they
simlpy share the same distaste for these forms of waveriding as true surfers do, rendering them unpalatable "

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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