Walt Disney World To Undergo Major Refurbishments in December 2017

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BREAKING NEWS: In what is surely a sign of the times, several major attractions in Magic Kingdom and all other Disney World Parks will be closed for refurbishment beginning December 2017. Disney's CEO stated that safety is Disney World's number one concern and there has been engineering surveys that spelled some costly (and sad) news for those who are planning to attend Orlando this winter.

Noteworthy rides are: Space Mountain, The Seven Dwarfs' Mine Train, Expedition Everest and Aerosmith's Rockin' Rollercoaster are the largest rides being affected. It has been undetermined the exact dates of closures, but it is confirmed that the entire month of December 2017 and January 2018 will be affected.

It's not all bad news, you can always get Justin's penis in return. He'll be waiting! Paris will all soon remove the “Auction” scene where pirates can buy a bride. The scene is iconic for its sultry redhead, voluptuous “Show us your larboard side” bride, and the spectacularly mobile and well dressed Auctioneer himself.

The scene also contains many elements which the fans no doubt love, but which are at odds with modern sensibilities. This is beyond a “Politically Correct” issue, it’s an issue about what Disney feels it may be inadvertently teaching its youngest guests when they see images of women being sexualized and sold at auction.

Years ago, Disney took their first step at taming their pirates’ lusty desires when they changed the “chase” scene so instead of aggressively pursuing wenches (it was essentially a rape story), they were chasing after plates of food. One desire replaced with another – lust for gluttony.

It’s the derogatory sexual nature of those two scenes which are problematic for modern Disney and to today’s guests. Theme park rides don’t have an MPAA rating in the way movies do. Pirates is the most tame of attractions and suitable for riders of all ages. Therefore, there is a need to make sure the subject matter is appropriate for those ages as well.

It’s a catch 22 for Disney as the fans are likely to be outraged, at least at first. But not acting also continues to perpetuate themes which are unacceptable for many of today’s guests. Disney has clearly decided they need to act on the moral issue over sentimentality.

Here’s some additional information we were able to obtain about this breaking news. Disney Imagineering bigwigs Marty Sklar and Kathy Mangum weigh in on the alterations:

“To me, the Imagineers are simply reflecting what Walt started the day Disneyland opened – making changes that create exciting new experiences for our guests. I can’t think of a single attraction that has not been enhanced and improved, some over and over again. Change is a ‘tradition’ at Disneyland that today’s Imagineers practice – they learned it from their mentors, many of them Walt’s original team of storytellers and designers – the Disney Legends.” – Marty Sklar, Imagineer Legend. Marty continues, “Pirates of the Caribbean has always represented great Disney Park storytelling; it has set the standard for the theme park industry for half a century! But it’s a story you can continue to add fun to, with great characters in new ‘performances.’ That’s what the Imagineers have done with this new auction scene – it’s like a theatre show with a new act.”

Kathy Mangum, Sr. VP Imagineering stated, “Our team thought long and hard about how to best update this scene. Given the redhead has long been a fan favorite, we wanted to keep her as a pivotal part of the story, so we made her a plundering pirate! We think this keeps to the original vision of the attraction as envisioned by Marc Davis, X Atencio and the other Disney legends who first brought this classic to life.”