Samsquatch found in Staunton yard
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The Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries confirms that on Thursday July 6th at approximately 1:00 pm that 2 Conservation Officers were making a routine safety patrol in the Staunton area when they both witnessed a Bigfoot pleasuring his red rocket in a back yard. The resident, Teri Howard, stated that she had seen evidence before, but this was the first actual sighting. The Bigfoot was easy to track as she had laid a trap using a burning bag of feces that he stomped on to extinguish and left encrusted tracks. She credited a jerky commercial coming to mind with the idea. It is believed the intruder had travelled from the Coal Road area of Augusta Countt. There is video proof from the officers body cams the information public officer has reported. This story is still developing stay tuned for more information.
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