Study reveals that drummers live longer, smell better.

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AP Auckland, New Zealand. A study published buy Guy Patterson PhD, resident fellow at the Invercargill Jazz Symposium shows that balding male drummers, lived on average 37 years longer than their counterparts who had a full head of hair. Although there there is little data to back up Dr Patterson's claims, there is a vast database of anecdotal evidence to support this proposition. The data also revealed that this same folically challenged group reportedly smelled better than their fully covered peers. One researcher noted the "smell of money and waffles" when describing the aforementioned percussionists. Celebrated percussionist and longtime pizza maker Fritz Wanamaker, who recently turned 119, says of his miraculous longevity "I'm not sure what's going on. I just show up and play and chics still dig me". Dr Patterson could not be reached for comment.

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