Drunken Granny Gets Jiggy With It on Main Street in Artesia

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Jeanne Sutton, age 73, of Artesia, NM was arrested on Thursday, July 13 for allegedly riding her lawnmower, aka "her 4wheeler", while nude on Main Street near the Derrick Floor. Artesia police said Sutton was visibly intoxicated and smelled of margaritas while suggestively dancing at the landmark in the early morning hours of July 13. When apprehended, Sutton was seen in nothing but a green sequin thong, which quickly came off. Police also observed a chihuahua, wearing a tutu, in a basket on the back of the lawnmower eating what we now know were "special" brownies. Sutton was yelling "It's 5 o'clock somewhere", witnesses say. The granny tried fleeing on foot but was quickly tasered and apprehended without injury. Sutton is being held at Eddy County jail awaiting arraignment. Her hearing is scheduled for August 4, 2017.

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