Florida Man to Ride in Next Year's Tour de France

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ORLANDO, FL -- In a press release last Thursday, NBCSN confirmed to reporters that New England native turned Orlando resident, Matthew Uva will be racing in the 2018 Tour de France, albeit under less than normal circumstances.
Uva will be riding alongside 6 other American riders on a new team with some unlikely sponsors. The L.L.Bean-Surly team also has breweries and at least one medical marijuana dispensary as financial contributors -- how's THAT for doping?! Riders haven't been pulled from the American professional circuit, rather from amateurs and what the cycling press have dubbed, "armchair puncheurs".
The move by the ASO, the international body that organizes the Tour de France, has been seen by cycling insiders as a grab for more American viewership. It is even rumored that Hummer will be supplying the team cars, a sure sign of American "flag waving".
Asked by reporters about his inclusion on the team, Uva said, "It's always been a dream of mine to draft behind the street sweepers at l'arriere du peloton. One of my heroes is Bob Roll."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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