Local Man, Jonathan Williams, assassinates 12

Saturday 15 May 2059 4868 Shares

Local Man, Jonathan Williams, assassinates 12

In what local authorities are calling a crime of passion, local gunslinger, and brine enthusiast, Jonathan Williams, is being held for questioning.

In an exclusive interview, Mr. Williams explained by saying, "I read the fine print before ordering the sea monkeys. At no time did it say that I would be responsible for providing a tank. I thought I was doing them a service."

We will have continuing coverage of this massacre as new details become available.

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