Louisiana Man Struggling to Survive
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Man from Louisiana today states he "simply cannot go on" after he tells reporters what is going on.
David A. Varnado, 20, of Zachary tells news team today that the love of his life and utter soulmate has fallen out of love with him due to his hasty tongue and stupid decisions.
The girl in question, Madison Deckman, 19, has left ole David blue.
He told reporters that she is the most beautiful girl he's ever had the chance to be with. That she was his inspiration for just about everything from being a better person to just waking up in the morning. The poor lad tells us he's willing to give her anything she wants as long as she'll be his again. A truly desperate move but, alas, that is the most beautiful girl anyone in this office has ever seen either.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.