Crime Spree at Stonewall Jackson
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Sgt. Reinquest with the Lewis County sheriff's department confirmed that the crime rate around Stonewall Jackson Lake quadrupled the first week of July. We were puzzled at first, because nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There were sightings of what we thought were midgets, under 4 feet tall, roaming the hills, but we later learned that these two individuals were actually a little boy and his aunt; both short in stature and second born. As most people know, and science backs up, second borns are notorious criminals and these two are no different.
Sgt. Reinquest said they are searching for these two individuals and if sighted to not approach. He said "They are criminals so obviously they are dangerous. Especially the little one." When asked which one was the little one. He replied "Both!"
We will keep you updated as the story develops.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.