Gout sufferers may be the key to time travel
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Scientist in New Jersey has found that the chemical structure of uric crystals found attached to the bones and joints of gout sufferers resonate with a strange song when placed near a source of lethal electromagnetic waves. Scientist claim that even in their first test of the theory that a small Mexican woman holding a cat materialized in the laboratory.
Government officials are now worried that this information may be leaked to our greatest enemy; Russia.
"If the Russians get ahold of this technology there is no telling how many old Mexican ladies will be transported to different locations in the world. Mexico is our friend and we are doing everything possible to make sure this technology stays in American hands." Said, local fisherman Tony Smith.
Others are not so sure that this is a bad thing. Marie, a bartender at the local Fridays said, "I'd really like an old mexican lady to appear in my living room with a cat. It would definitely liven up the evening. Maybe I will buy her some Tequila and play with her cat. Who knows? The future is wide open!"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.