Ben Dallas... Secrets revealed in a tell-all expose

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Shockwaves sent through the WILX viewers when their beloved evening anchor Ken Houston went off the air back in April.

"Yeah, the phones were ringing off the hook," Tim Gillette said. "I snapped my fingers at ol' Red to get her to answer the calls, but she didn't. I said 'Hey Noelle, Nicky. Nicole. Phone.' Nothing. Tried snapping at Jenell, she didn't even acknowledge me... not the way Faith did... Anyway, lots of calls of people asking where Ken went. Some even didn't know his name. Called him the black gentleman. I said he's gone."

Without a trace.

It wasn't long after he left that people started looking into this mysterious man. That's when they found out about Ben... Ken's evil twin.

At first he was just a theory. Then they found out...

"That I'm actually Jentill Neal," Ben Dallas said. "Just kidding, just kidding. Do I look like I like burnt hot dogs? No, I'm actually Tracy's dad."

"Totes," Tracy Maher said. "Ben Dallas is totes my dad. I don't know why nobody ever asked. You could've just watched my Facebook lives to see him. But no."

"We didn't know Tracy's dad was Ben Dallas?" Kirk Montgomery asked. "City Pulse knew. They're saying he's actually a gay clone. Can we say that?"

"He's an openly gay clone," Jentill said.

"He's not an openly gay clone," Kayla Clarke said. "He fucking had Tracy, he's not gay. At most he's bi."

"I always thought Tracy's dad was some drunk old white guy," Kyle Dollarhite said. "Guess you learn something new every day."

So... what does Ben Dallas do? Why did Ken Houston leave?

"I'm a health inspector," Dallas said. "I'm always going to restaurants, getting free meals-"

"Don't forget getting clicks," Tracy said.

"And of course getting clicks," Dallas said. "As for my brother Ken? Well... That's a story for another day."

So... is Ben Dallas evil?

"I'm the one who tells Tracy when people don't post their web preview stories," Dallas said with an evil grin. "I'm also the one who told Tracy 'forget about the Nassar stream.'"

"Oh my god I fucking hate Ben Dallas," Clayton Cummins said. "Most embarrassing moment of my career."

His most evil moment? Ben Dallas is the one who trained Ken to anchor.

"You bet I did," Dallas laughed. "You. Bet. I. Did. Shout out to my baby girl for her promotion. Like, follow and subscribe. Post those stories y'all."

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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