Los Angeles Man Loses Penis- Receives 1.4B
Wednesday 16 June 2059 17167 Shares
A LOS ANGELES native, Michael Blevins, suffered a freak accident last Thursday, losing his genitals.
The Los Angeles native was allegedly playing guitar in his home when a condor died mid-flight and crashed through his window, hitting Michael in the genitals.
According to emergency medical sources, upon the crash the condor had its beak open in surprise, and the open beak had then severed over 4 inches of the at the time erect phallice.
Upon investigation by the LAPD, it was revealed that the condor was actually owned by the production team behind ABC's syndicated television show, "Emotional Angles," a show chronicling the misadventures of a blind and deaf director.
Sources have confirmed at this point that Michael's legal team has reached a whopping 1.4 billion dollar settlement, paid in full within 60 days.
When asked what he was going to do with the money, Blevins's response was, "I don't know. Life will be very hard from now on. Except my penis. That won't."