Area Grandmother Takes Up Knitting
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Facing a retirement life cursed with lucid thinking, local granny Janice Whittaker takes up knitting in an effort to disguise her rage against humanity in general, god and trump in particular. She also pretends to be hard of hearing, while actually ignoring stupidity, but can sometimes be caught out by her facial expressions. Ms. Whittaker was unavailable for comment at press time as she was napping, another one of her sneaky coping tricks.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.