BREAKING NEWS: EYEBALL STEALING BIRDS DRIVING CALIFORNIA SEA LIONS TO EXTINCTION
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Warning: contains disturbing image
Over 10,000 rare California sea lions were found washed up on Hermosa Beach this morning, all with something in common: They were all dead from starvation and all missing their eyeballs. A strange new gull-like bird seems to be preying on the mammals, only taking the poor animals eyes. ''They simply can't see how to feed'' , says Environmentalist Todd Eubanks. ''At this rate, they will effectively all be gone after the weekend''. Ornithologists are flying in from all over the U.S. to try and determine the origin of these monstrous birds. At the present, the dead animals are being taken to be processed as pet food.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.