SRC Axes New Courthouse Plans
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Santa Rosa officials have completely discarded any plans of a new courthouse and have decided to remodel the current courthouse in a "wild west themed" renovation project.
An inside anonymous source has stated that the SRC Commissioner's have decided an agreement on a new courthouse was completely untenable thanks to the "cheapskate SRC taxpayers." As a result, a complete remodel of the current courthouse in wild West them will be far less expensive since the current courthouse already reflects something out of the 1800's.
A proposed remodeling budget of $230.00 will allow for the installation of a water troth for horses and a small hanging gallows in the rear for those receiving any sort of death penalty. The remodeling requires no voter approval since commissioner's raised the money from lunchtime car washes. The improvements will complete a theme that for the most part already exists at the courthouse.
Milton residents were "over the moon" about the decision. Milton resident Pete Ennis stated "we need this courthouse to stay here and if means shoveling horse manure off our streets to keep it then by God we'll call up the residents of Navarre to come clean it up. It is a win-win for everybody" Other residents were concerned about a western courthouse theme encouraging possible gunfights as a means to settle disputes. Commissioners argued that the old courthouse already looks like something from the "Old Wild West" and that any future gunfights would have occurred anyway.
Construction on the gallows and water troth begins next month. Traffic throughout the entire city of Milton will be closed while the one day work is in progress. Once completed the county of Santa Rosa will finally have a courthouse that encapsulates the mentality of the entire county.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.