Lars Ulrich to Become New Drummer for TOOL after Dan Carey Steps Down

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In response to Maynard James Keenan's appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast. In which the singer detailed the hold up was on Justin Chancellor, Adam Jones, and Dan Carey not himself. Not being vengeful or spiteful just saying that is how we write "they make the melodies and i come in and finish up with my melodies and lyrics. The enraged TOOL drummer abruptly quit saying "if perfection has time frames, count me out." Not wanting to delay any further Maynard went on an extensive search but it didn't take long for Lars to stand out. " He matches anything dan can do it's surreal." "He came in and played Rosetta Stoned like he wrote it." Lars was unable to be reached for official statement.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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