The great Piedmont Witch Hunt
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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A great mystery has fallen at the foot of the hills. A mighty prankster dares to write satire or add humor to a cold, dead landscape. Many citizens seem to have been caused great harm to their gluteus maximus regions. So much so that a broad sweeping search has been summoned.
One local store owner said a run on Tissues and diapers has caused many people to park in the fire lanes and impede traffic. Thus causing more butts to hurt.
In further news... many residents have warned kids to GET OFF MY LAWN.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.