Local Man Found Alive and Well After Surprise Return to Work
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It was around this time in July when local authorities were notified that Homer "Aries" Wilkerson of Oldsmar, Florida had gone missing. Originally reported missing by his wife, Dorothy Wilkerson, there were very few leads for the authorities to follow.
According to his wife, the hope of finding Aries dwindled quickly as the investigation went cold. However, authorities were given a new lead in their investigation when former co-worker, Matthew Rand, reported that Aries has returned to work.
Per the authorities' press report, Aries Wilkerson returned to work at his former employer, Clayton Fixed Income Services, on the morning of August 4, 2017. The authorities in charge of leading the investigation claim that they were unable to locate the missing man due to his extreme makeover (see above).
When asked about Aries return to Clayton, Matthew Rand told reporters that Aries was able to avoid authorities and search teams by using a fake name tag on his desk. It was only this morning that he replaced his fake "Jordan Tremel" name tag with his true "Aries Wilkerson" name tag.
While the situation is still unraveling, as sources at Clayton say Aries is still unaware of his own return, his family and friends are just happy he has returned. For those who wish to celebrate Aries return to Clayton, please join former co-worker and Aries Wilkerson expert Ian Delaney later today as he performs his rendition of Amazing Grace today at 3:30 p.m.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.