Crab Lauded as Hero after Halting Thug's Getaway
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—MIAMI BEACH, FL. Last Friday night, Chris Chandler had almost managed to make a clean getaway after robbing the Sunco Convenience Store of its cash by way of assaulting the young store clerk. Only dressed in his swimming trunks, sans shirt or shoes, he failed to notice the crab lurking under his getaway car.
As he opened the door, you guessed it, crab pinched his big toe and wouldn't let go. Whether the cops were called before this time is unclear, but several witnesses were drawn to the scene at this time after they heard piercing wails of pain and fear and dutifully called 9-1-1.
Officer Dan Fortman reported that as he removed the crab from the offender's toe, he saw several french fries on the ground which had apparently fallen from the vehicle when Chris launched his failed robbery attempt. Crabs love french fries.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.