Rogue Scientist Unleashes Monster Cactus
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—GLACIER NATIONAL PARK, B.C., CANADA Dr. Kenneth Piel is believed responsible for creating and setting loose a monstrous, genetically modified cactus which is rapidly spreading through the Glacier National Park.
Dr. Piel is a leading researcher who co-pioneered the CRISPR technique of gene splicing. His cutting-edge facility in Vancouver, The Piel Center for Advancement of Science, has grown 10-fold in the last decade leading to several valuable discoveries in DNA manipulation.
Apparently unbeknownst to his coworkers, it seems that Dr. Piel has succeeded in creating a mammoth, hearty, and malignant cactus which is freely replicating itself throughout the formerly pristine wilderness of Glacier National Park.
One of his long time associates, Dr. Sim Parrtam, remarked, "I can't really get my head around this. The damage this will incur to the ecosystem here in British Columbia is profound and who knows how far it will go. Where the $@&*! is he anyhow? He's going to have a lot of explaining to do."
The authorities are searching for Dr. Piel who has been missing since last Wednesday.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.