Birkenhead sausage packer makes his billionth sausage

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A birkenhead sausage factory worker is celebrating this week with all his hard mates after packing his billionth sausage in just over 3 years doing the job. Stevie "fast hands" Farrell (formely known as Big Ste Manager of that Titans Gym) was headhunted in the summer of 2014 by the sausage factory heirarchy due to his fast hands which are a result of his 17 years boxing at every single boxing club on The Wirral. Ste's fast hands have transitioned well from the ring to the gruelling demands of packing sausages. This has enabled him to pack a record number of sausages in such a short time...a feat which earned him the nickname amongst fellow sausage packers "Stevie Sausage Hands" which is a reference to the 1990 film starring Johnny Depp. However Ste's unprecedented success as a sausage packer has led to some divisions within the sausage community with rival pro-Ste and anti-Ste factions clashing on a daily basis at break time. Fortunately Ste has not been harmed in any of the clashes as noone would dare lay a finger on him due to all his really hard mates.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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