ESW (Evil Single Witch) Seeks SWM for LTR
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ME: 700 year old independent-minded, ambitious witch. 5 ft 4 inches, 115 pounds, fair skinned and long red hair (recently upgraded from haggard old crone to a beautiful young maiden). Long term oriented.
YOU: Handsome young hero. At least 6'3". Long blonde locks. Good with a sword and bow. Not too bright but quick learner. Loves bilberries, eternal twilight, and exploring old castles.
Take a chance! Meet me at the Fairy Door at sunset. Together we can rule the world!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.