Infectious Worms Invade Wise County

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The species known as xenonian arcules has caused a public health crisis in Wise County, VA. The worms were brought over from India by migrating birds. The birds eat the worms in their larval state the worm grows and is excreted when the birds drop their excrement. The worms then latch onto passing wildlife or people. The worm then burrows into the host and makes its way to the bowels. Where it lays its eggs that are passed when the creature or person goes to the bathroom. The eggs can live for weeks on toilet seats and are immune to most common cleaning products including bleach. If the eggs come into contact with skin the attach to the victim and the cycle begins again. The worms can be passed through saliva, urine, and through sexual intercoms. If you or someone you know exhibits the following symptoms please see your doctor immediately: runny nose, sore throat, watery eyes, itchy fingers, diarrhea, vomiting, twitching, crossed eyes, excessive ear wax, excessive perspiration, weak urine stream, underarm fungus, and a hankering for a hunk of cheese.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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