Shocking: Men's sperm is the perfect face cream!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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A recent study released by the University of Glasgow, Scotland, showed that the chemical composition of male sperm actually makes the skin younger and more radiant. To complete the study, the university visited more than 1,000 sperm banks in different countries and tested sperm in 2,327 different men. Although these sperm donors are not the fathers they hoped for when they sacrificed their sperm, it's possible that they made many men much happier.
Unfortunately, this formula for younger skin works only for women. Guys, you're out of luck. Sort of. Now when your girlfriend says that you can not finish on her face ... remind her that sperm is good for her skin and that you are only doing her a favor!
American men should be particularly happy. Though only 5 of the sperm banks tested were from the USA, all of the samples from these sperm banks tested more favorably than samples from other countries by a wide margin.
Some individuals, particularly those from Ukraine or Russia, might accuse us of saying that American men have particularly good sperm simply because this article is written in English. That is not the case. The scientific results are valid. American men ... especially blonde, 40 year old, fat American men, have the best sperm in the world.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.