EAST MEADOW: Landlords trying to build commercial businesses on Hempstead Tpke
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Local residents are up in arms recently in the hamlet of East Meadow, NY. The source of their ire would certainly be shocking to even the most hardened of miscreants. Apparently, the small bucolic community is under siege from greeey landlords and developers whom are swarming into town with plans to build and/ or redevelop commercial properties located on the quiet, scenic country lane known as Hempstead Tpke.
Long time resident Sally McGovern has lived in East Meadow for over thirty years. "When my family moved out here from St. Albans, Hempstead Tpke was small 2 lane dirt road" she said. Ms. McGovern spoke to us about seeing deer freely frolicking across the road, bounding from farm to farm. "Old man Johnson would bring his tractor down the road once a year in the spring to smooth out the bumps left over from the harsh winter" she added.
That all changed when commercial developers discovered the gold mine that is East Meadow real estate. Within a few years of Ms. McGoverns arrival, the character of the road began to take on a different tenor. Suddenly, overnight and without any input from the community, the road was paved and widened into a six lane divided highway. A large hospital sprung up soon after. Shortly thereafter, several fast food restaurants were built. Finally, the opening of a Home Depot signaled the death knell for this country lane. Unfettered commercialism has ruined East Meadow.
Recently, Southland Corporation has taken East Meadow into their sights. According to Paul Kapper of Southland Corp, "Out organization will not stop until we have built a 7-11 on every corner in East Meadow". They are close to attaining their goal.
Another resident, Gene Torsa of 7th Street, said "I swear to god, if another fast food restaurant is built in this town I'm going to move back to Brooklyn. This place is turning into the city".
We find this blatant disruption to the residents lives to be appalling. We here at breakingnews365.com feel that a moratorium should be placed on ANY further commercial or residential building within East Meadow. A special should however be granted to anyone hoping to open the following businesses:
- A book store
- A poetry store
- An independent coffee shop
- An antique store
- A flower shop
- A Cracker Barrel (because god knows we need a Cracker Barrel)
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.