Newport Man Sentenced
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A Newport man was sentenced today at Cardiff Crown Court.
Carter Bray, 21, from Beechwood, was found guilty of absolutely fucking chopping multiple vehicles during negotiation of roundabouts on the 16th September.
Mr Bray, who drives a Eunos Roadster, gave the following statement:
"Well realistically I don't know what they expect. They drive these cars that are nippy in a straight line, and will obviously beat my 26 year old 1.6, but she's an actual weapon in the corners, and I mean she will make you shit your actual pants, and that's where it matters. Of course I'm going to show off the frankly ridiculous handling of my car by passing them on the inside with about as little effort as it takes to make Kane to cry. I don't see why everyone is getting so angry."
Mr Bray has also explained that he has imported a new vehicle that will be capable of beating the lads on the straights as well. The car, a literal barge, is none other than Toyota's Crown. The vehicle comes equipped with a 1JZ engine, which Mr. Bray says will literally "consume an Altezza and shit it out at Tesco to be towed away by Spiteri's again. Haaaaa"
More tonight at 9
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.